Tony St. Pierre

Code. Reflect. Evolve.

Day 164: Peace Between Attempts

Tony St. Pierre - Senior Secure Web Application Developer
Tony St. Pierre

Summary

There's always a stretch of silence between what you do and what comes back. Some call it waiting. For many, it feels like uncertainty tightening. But it's where your real posture shows. Peace isn't what you earn at the end. It's what you bring to the space between.

Misery is due to men's judgments, and not to the things themselves. – Epictetus

Reflection

Most days, it's easy to stay moving.
Push a fix. Run the tests. Merge the branch.
But when the motion stops, when there's nothing left to do but wait, that's where the tension sneaks in.

The metrics don't move.
The PR sits untouched.
No pings. No feedback. The blank space of maybe.

And that's when we twitch.
Refresh the tab.
Rewrite something that didn't need rewriting.
Not because the work is ominous but because silence makes us doubt.

This is the moment we rarely train for.
The part after the effort.
Where results drift outside your reach, and your only job is to stay grounded.

The calm ones?
They don't obsess over the outcome.
They close the loop on their side, log what they did, take a breath, and then shift back to what they can shape.

Even when the stakes are high.
Even if something's burning.
Because panic scrambles your vision.
And presence, even under pressure, helps you see what's there.

Peace isn't a goal.
It's a practice.
A stance you return to while the world figures out what to say back.

Today's Insight

Peace doesn't wait until the end of the process.
It lives in how you stand when the output hasn't landed, and you're not sure what it means yet.

Action Steps

  1. Log It Anyway - Write down what you did, what you tried, what you hoped. Not for applause. So that you remember what mattered.
  2. Stop Chasing the Refresh - Once you've shipped, close the tab. Walk. Breathe. The loop isn't faster just because you're watching it spin.
  3. Expect Slowness - Seriously. Stuff takes time. Whether it's a system, a person, or life. Expect delays and code for them in your logic and your mindset.
  4. Train While You Wait - Use the quiet time to sketch, think, and refine that messy draft. It's not wasted time. It's practice disguised as nothing.
  5. Don't Let Your Worth Float - If your calm rises and falls with the response, it's not calm. It's dependency. Please bring it back to the center. You. Your rhythm. Your reasons.

Consider This

What if the silence wasn't ignoring you?
What if it was testing you, not your code, but your ability to stay steady before the results come in?

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